Ask, and I shall tell.

I sometimes feel I keep so many things to myself, I'm practically an island.. on an island. Doubly lonely. Does that make sense?

'Ask and I shall tell'. The thought of just pouring out comes to mind constantly, yet I have no clue as to how my emotions would come with these words, till he asked...., and I told...

My dad, just like he always is.. understanding, patient, and straight to the point.
"Why are you sad?" he asked. I shook my head.
"Do you have a new girl?" he asked. I shook my head.
"Is the old girl back?" he asked. I shook my head.
Third time's a charm? Nope.
"Don't just shake your head. Tell me what's wrong,"he asked. And I broke down, and told.

Tears... hrmph.. they always get in the way. Stops me from continuing. So I told him all that I could. "Him (my sis's bf) being here reminds me of what I cannot have," I said.

What I meant to say was:
She was spending so much time with him. Already they study together abroad. Meaning they have unlimited, unsupervised time together over there. Yet, they need to see each other still over here. Don't blame them. It's normal, I know. But don't bring it to my house. Don't display your affections all over me. It's not your fault, I know. But I can't help but have jealously written all over me. Yes, the green monster, I am. Though you may not see it, I hurt. Inside. And I withdraw myself from taking part in any humanly activities you all so easily do, such as talking, and smiling and laughing. I don't expect you to understand how I feel, for you have nothing to worry about. Our parents accept your partner with open arms, and make him part of the family already without any difficulty. Getting him gifts and holding gatherings for him. It's difficult for me to comprehend why you shower him with so much attention. Why her love life holds more importance as compared to mine. You told me, dad, that it doesn't matter who we loved, as long as we do and so shall you. Then why do you reject my love towards her. Why do you ask me to change? Isn't love all that matters?

I know I'm thinking too much. I know that's not what's on their minds and it's not what they think. I know I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. But I just can't help how I feel sometimes. So, like I told my dad, leave me be... and I'll work it out myself. When all I'm secretly saying is, give me time to prepare to pretend that I'm happy with everything. That's what I'm doing now... And that's how I'll be..

P.S: I'm really not that a sad person... really... it's just..... sometimes..... you know.