Hate,Love

Hate if we must, if only for the time being..

Whatever gets you through the day... the month... the year...

For life as unfair as it is, would make no sense,

Because, what is Love, if there is no Hate to compare it to..

~key~

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so spiteful.. what a terrible example.. it is a result of being burnt and disappointed by those around you .. though i occasionally render to the feeling at the spur of the moment, i must admit i have no clue on how to despise people for long. Maybe it Is a good thing, but it does make me feel stupid all the same in the end..
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.....Why does my heart ache tonight....

I've a bruised back, sore muscles, and aching joints..

But the only pain i feel is the one that i cannot tend to...

Live Your Life

Dictated by love and great moments..

Cause you know that's what it's all about..

sick limerick

have sex when you're sick,
no longer will you feel weak,
(said the husband with his quick wit,)
he smiled as she agreed,
and on him she began to lick,
only to find her asleep by his dick

sick make u stewpid ja?

Are we all not just Men

If we fight for the things that we believe in,
If we fight for the things that matter to us,
If we fight for hope,
If we fight for the truth, or freedom, or peace,
If we fight for the people we care about,

Are we all not just men..

If we fight for Love.

We are one

I do absolutely nothing, lay back and just blast tasteful music into my

perfectly pink shelled ears.

Nothing else exists.

Nothing else matters.

Nothing else is real.

Just you..

And the music...

Bliss...

The feeling

Eyes wide open
an insane feeling
something's not right.
I've felt this before.
I wished I was home.
Only because the location would recognize the feeling.
Can't quite place it.
This feeling.
Felt it during my adolescent years.
Feeling of being neglected.
Fear forms a fort.
Surrounding us.
I thought I would outgrow this feeling.
But solitude is a never ending vicious circle.
And we're doomed to just be spinning around.
Endlessly, for all of time.

Will you be mine?

i'm shabby, i'm poor,

i might be abhored,
my exterior looks old,
but my heart is made of gold
and i love you to bits
and refused to eat
for days i saved
and waited for the day
that i could buy u this single rose
to let u know
i'm urs forever more..

Sleep, sleep...
you give me a reason to dream,
a reason to close my eyes and smile,
knowing that it'll all be alright

Cry,cry...
you yet again leave me to die,
your words slashes my wrist, and i'm left to bleed,
won't you ressurect me again with your kiss

Fly,fly...
no higher can I
be just by the very thought of you in mind
makes me soar sky high, all through the night

Feel,feel...
making me know this is real,
that every blood that runs its course
carries all my love, intertwining with yours

Touch,touch...
with all my love and lust
wishing that you were in my bed
just holding each other from dawn to dusk

and

Love,love...
you taught me the meaning of,
knowing that your love is within me
i cannot escape this feeling of immortality

Love you, B...

Lonely in my heart

lonely in my heart
i hear a distant melody
It sings a mocking song
as i try to sleep

deserve this you have
oh you wretched fool
wrenching in your heart
can never be cooled

suffer away to nothing
that is what you are
you can't escape this feeling
loneliness has gone too far

too deep, too deep
i cried in anguish
oh why allow me to live
when I know I should perish

and as I said those words
Your light done shone on me
showing me all in truth
that I could be set free

Nodding knowingly
I let out a sigh
Accepting what I've chosen
I swear I'd never say goodbye

For in all that is evil
There is more of pure
And my realisation of this
More than ever I am now sure

Shutting my view
I begin to drift
No longer I hear the melody
Smiling as I sleep

I lie everytime I console you,

i don't think it's okay

i miss you

won't you console me for a change

say that it'll be alright

that you'll always be mine

that distance between lovers matters not

and if it does, it's only to make us strong

and I shall bow down to every word you say

for without you, i would astray

be that light that guides me from fear

and that would be all I ask from you, dear.

I just got off the phone with you but already I'm missing you like hell. Hell hurts. It's like your carrying boulders in your heart. I need you. I miss you..

First off, I'm most prolly gonna take this Moji thing off me blog on account that it can't read me right and it's pissing me off at times. I know you're cute and all you lil fur ball, but you do me no good. Paniatnia? (means 'understand' in Russian).

Speaking of Russian.. I'll be going back to that hell hole next week. Kinda bumms me out everytime I think of it. Trying to enjoy my last days here, and so far it's been giving me bad tummy aches. (Stuffing yourself with a year's amount of food is just plain silly. Don't do it!) Still, I don't wanna regret not having it all, so yea, it's a painful kinda pleasure.

Tak, Rossia, ya idu. Kaneshna, ya ni khachu, no, shto delat. Da?
(So, Russian, I go. Of course I don't want to, but, what to do. Right?)

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Gwen Stefani had her concert yesterday. And I assume that it would prolly be somewhat of an experience that she never would like to have ever again, thus canceling every thought of returning to this country. At times like this that I'm somewhat sadden to say that I'm a Malaysian. To assume that just because a person comes from a country that has a different culture from ours, she wouldn't be able to respect it and act accordingly. As I read, she had even promised to cover up every inch of her bare skin, even wearing leotards underneath her skirts. I would imagine the shock she gets when she gets up stage and looks down upon her fans, dressing more obscenely that she is (cos i'm sure that would be the case). Does PAS really think that their suggestion of banning the concert would really make a difference in the acts of youths these days when there are so many other influences out there? I dunno. Just seems kinda stupid to me. Well, that's just me blabbering at 2 in the morning. Don't come finding me for saying all this crap.

In another matter, I had almost put this video up till I realised that it's not really a good idea. Seeing how he's already in trouble, I wouldn't like to seem like I'm supporting him in any way. I don't understand how some people have so much time to do all this. To create a rap based on your country's song. Too free ahhh. Perfect timing too seeing as how Malaysia's 50th year of independence is coming up. Was just sitting down and trying to think of all that Malaysia's accomplished over the years, somehow nothing else was entering my mind except for all the years that we've managed to cook up the biggest dish, be it mooncake or yee sang or kuih lapis or something or other. Can't quite remember, but I'm sure it's recorded in the Malaysia's Guinness Book of record. Well, it's food, and we're Malaysians. It's the only combination that is farely well known throughout the country. You could litterally hear the clicks from our brains to our stomachs. It's an instant connection.
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While playing my guitar today, I recalled having writtten a couple of songs back in the days (cheh wahh.. back in the days.. makes me sound freaking old eh?) Fine it was just back in the days when I was still emotionally retarded, writing corny poems and crappy songs. I used to write in on any piece of paper I had at the moment and the one I found is all yellow and faded. It's an additional drama that would occur when a song or lyric pops into my head and I'd be so afraid of losing it that I'd sing it over and over again till I manage to find a piece of paper and a pen. And sometimes I would have so much mental music going on that I'd be just scribbling the paper trying to jot it all down, and at the end of it I'd just plop down on the floor, exhausted like I've just done a 3 hour exam. I remember playing it in a vehement manner once everything is done, just so full of emotions......

Just to realise that you've wasted your time, because it sounds like crap..

Em7, Bm, Caad9, G
Found the pieces of my heart,
Trying to put them back together,
It used to hurt when we're apart,
Now it's gonna hurt forever,

Em, A
Cos since you've walked out that door,
I want you back no more,
You're just a distant memory,
And in time you will be gone.

Chorus: D,A,G,A
Wasted my time, trying to find someone,
That I had in mind, in you,
Now that's it clear, I'll tell you my dear,
That my biggest mistake was you....

It continues on, but I change my mind about typing it all down. I just wanted to preserve my childhood (which much contains stupidity and callowness). Perhaps looking back on this post in the future, I would find this all amusing. It's my hope that I do actually continue to grow as a person and if I do not, well, let's just say some hospital somewhere is gonna end up with a really
quacked up doctor.

PS: Baby, don't ever ask me to sing that song for you. Just somehow felt like you would. Don't!

Lives lived undone

We perish from the world not using the exit door
Hour glass broken, sands of time cut short
We live our lives wondering when we'll die
Never succeding in tryin to live a life

Seconds wasted on worrying of hows and what ifs
Never daring to jump in and take the risk
And right at the time we decide to take the plunge
We step back and realise the moment is gone

We're all in a violent death grip in an unseen void
Just awaiting our turn to reach the end point
Most of us manage to hold on till its time to be gone
And the rest just let go living their lives undone

lying next to you,watching you sleep,
knowing this is where i'll ever want to be,
time stands still, there's no yesterday, no tomorrow,
just listening to you breathe, all's lost the meaning of sorrow,

feeling your skin beneathe mine,
the impact enough to make me tremble inside,
i give you a peck on the cheek, as you softly smiled,
and you place your hand gently in mine,

how could this fortune, be bestowed upon me,
i succumb to Love and all it's glory,
for it has given me something so divine,
this angel from above that I can call mine.

sigh

i tot i could be strong,
lil by lil i'm finding out i ws wrong,
i can't do this on my own,
my certainties somehow all gone,
we nv mean to hurt the ones we care for,
and i've never done what i've done before,
forgive me if i am weak,
but this promise i will keep,
i'll never do it again,
i won't let my emotions cost u pain,
may ur love for me forever remain,
u're the only thing in this world keeping me sane.

Dedicated to My Bandit Baby

May this post make it clear that B, belongs only to me by command of 'the powers that be'. Give not my heart back, as long as much love is showered upon it.


Like a thief you came
Crept silently in the dark
And right when i wasn't looking
You stole my heart

But angels somehow found you
As they turned you in
You stood in front of court
Repented of your sin

But nothing goes unpunished
And as God made it be
That your sentence is for life
To be by me for eternity

Would have to say though, you're one hell of a good looking thief. Plus you look really hot in black. You know which shirt in particular I'm talking bout. Darn, getting 'high' just thinking bout it.. my sexay thang..mwahx..