Wednesday, September 16, 2009

This Is It!


My one chance to see Michael perform.. even if it's not live, even if it's not really going to be a concert, but knowing that i'd be among other fans alike.. adoring him.. I know his presence would be there.. surrounding us..

Praying the ticket wouldn't be too costly, and there is availability..

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Yummy :)




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I want to play.. >=(

-is sulking because i have to study for a pending exam. it's just not right, studying this hard at the beginning of the semester. No one is in the mood, and everything that i'm reading just doesn't make sense or refuses to enter. I feel hungry all the time, and i finally gave in and started cooking. Please, please be over so i can enjoy the days of what's suppose to be a relaxing year.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Summer hols.

My summer:

1) Went to ipoh to visit grandpa and grandma (at church).

We are forever reminded of her and her angelic ways. Still tearing from time to time. Sometimes the memories of her hits us when we least expect it and in the most unusual places and time. Once we were walking down Tesco's aisle when all of a sudden the song they were playing caught my attention. I perked up my ears to hear Mariah Carey's Bye bye in the background. I shook my head trying to pull myself away from unwanted thoughts, only to turn around and see my mum breaking down, right in the middle of the 'sauces' aisle. I quickly whipped out my phone and blasted a song to distract her, coaxing her like you do a child. The death of ahma has affected us so badly that the very mention of her name always keeps us silent for a while before remembering that she's in a better place now.

2) Did attachment at the hospital for 3 weeks

Though it was time consuming and for the most part cut my damn holidays to a mere 5 weeks, it did me some good. I gained more experience than i ever did doing anything else and i have no regrets. But, honestly in the medical field there are so many things to memorize that you don't really know what's meant to be remembered and applied later on. By doing practicals you're exposed to all these. Plus injecting people is fun! (sadistic part of me glowing).

3) Paaartaayyy

Starting meeting up with friends after practicals. Had a road trip to PD and Seremban with the gang. Never realised how much i missed beaches till my toes came in contact with sand. ooo made me feel like a kid again, waddling through and splashing each other with salt water. Even took a ride on the banana boat (eww does that sound wrong)











Drove back to M's house, already in drinking mood and screaming out the lyrics to 'I've got a feeling' at the top our lungs because her car radio busted. Main drink of the night, Vodka and Absinthe sponsored by yours truly ;) Drank ourselves silly and KO-ed at the break of dawn.



Oscar Wilde described drinking absinthe as such: "After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world."

Though i must say, i experienced none of which was said. After a bottle of vodka, we whacked half a bottle of absinthe, which to much disappointment did not get me hallucinating. Though it did get me good and drunk with the help of beer. The taste of it raw, of course is vile. So much that it made vodka taste like drops of heaven. Plus it burns the mouth and esophagus(what else could u expect from 70% of pure alcohol right)

4) Genting!

Went to genting to be a trainer for one of my cousin's motivational courses.



good pay too! though i initially agreed to do it for free but if people offer u money, take it by all means! it was an eye opening experience, for you get to evaluate yourself and at the same analyze others which is something i tend to do all the time. In the beginning i was skeptical about these sort of courses. I thought it a waste of the company's money but towards the end of it, i could see how it boosted their spirits and i know in the long time coming, they would still recall the lessons learnt and apply it (of course till they lose interest in everything again and another motivational course is needed). After the last day of the course, we said goodbye to the trainees and headed up to casinos! yeah baby. I'm finally right, ready and legal to enter the casino. Of course i want this to be done with the securities approval. In other words, i wanted to be stopped by the guards, to whip out my IC and shove in their faces. EEyyyeaAahhh. Entering the casino is no biggie to me, i've been in before with my speed and talent, but this time around i have nothing to hide. No laws to break and i wanted them to know. Unfortunately, no one gave a damn about me and i was just another China Ah pek ready to blow some money. Instead of stopping me, they stopped my elder sister and i'm all the more curious to know if i look older than her this year. so again, i walked out, and entered.. NOTHING.. WTH.. let's just gamble then. i won money anyway so, oh well.

ps: it's apparent that i look nothing like my sister, cos when we were doing our practicals at the hospital, no one knew we were related and i think the touching and hugging and the fact that i kept mentioning that we lived together just made them think we were lovers. -_-'' how uncanny..

5)Fooood

i think i packed and stacked on a good 8 to 9 pounds this time around. Of course in the beginning, i did alot of running ( i lurve running =p) and that slowed the process down but towards the end i was running out of time to do the other things that i love, so i forwent exercising. I was eating every second of the day, and it was bliss not knowing what hunger felt like. I even forgot the existence of the word (till i came back of course) During my last week, i was eating for two in a meal.

Dad: Alright, do you want bakuteh or yam rice for breakfast.
me: Yes.
Dad: *confused* *repeats question* Bakuteh or Yam rice?
me: Yes.
Dad: *stares at me for a very long time* Oohh you want both.
me: *smiles gleefully* yes please! I'm glad we speak the same language, dad.
Dad: I know you well, my fatty.
Me: -_- that was so uncalled for.

ooh and i forgot to mention Shangri La buffet.. Oo La La.. the food.. is to die for..










6) Dance

Me and ma were hired to choreograph and teach a bunch of people a dance for their company's annual dinner. The group consisted of a few girls and a guy ( mr chairman, in otherwords.. certified china ah pek ) Mum was in charge of the girls, and I the guy. Which i figured should be fairly simple. It's one guy. I thought of it as a simple task. Turns out.. I thought wrong. That man, does not only have no sense of rhythm, he is tone deaf and has no ear for music. How was i suppose to teach him to dance when he couldn't even recognize beats. Worse part is, thinking that he could dance i choreographed cooler/tougher steps for him to do. Which in the end needed to be altered. I did the best i could in which he could remember all his moves, but never doing a single one in timing with the music. I'm sorry uncle, that's all you're capable of =/ hehe

7) Reunions

Which of course are compulsory and one event that you cannot escape from. Of course, i never worry about these sort of things. But boy, do i hate those same old questions from the year before.. and every other year for that fact. Of course i know you're just trying to make conversation but sometimes i do get a little bored of repeating myself a few times a night. So i do, what i do when i get bored of your questions, i tell you horrifying stories of Russia and racism and their economy and enjoy watching you get shocked. XD

8) Myself

This summer, would be one i will cherish the most because of the time i managed to spend time with my family and my friends. I would categorize this under 'myself' because to know and to feel that i've lost certain people (physically and emotionally) that with the remaining ones that i have i still find joy in them and mainly myself. Anyway, in the long run, you learn to differentiate between the ones worth remembering and the ones who's names were just written in sand (easy to be erased by the wind and forgotten like it should be). Damn, which just reminded me of my stalker.

"......"

This year i did alot of self shopping and got alot more formal clothes. weee.. me is liking it. Bought myself ties and ooo i also picked up a new instrument. I decided to take another one up just to broaden my horizons. Of course knowing me i wanted the most uncommon and unlikely one. Which is easily obtained of course if not i would have chosen a harp or something. Anyway, I got me a harmonica! It's on an easy one to pick up as i had imagined. Of course i did research about it before getting one and i've managed to learn the basics but i didn't think it would be a much harder instrument to master as compared to the guitar. So far i've only been playing Annie's Song and Moon River continously as practice. Of course this is a step up from Mary had a little lamb. Lol.

Why is it people only appreciate the result of things. Not the process. C'mon people. Like Miley Cyrus said.. "ain't about how fast i get there.. ain't about what's waiting for the other side...it's the climbbb". My first few days of practicing the harmonica, was the toughest. Being shunned by your family is not an easy thing =( According to dad, what i'm doing is not music, it's noise =( When i first got my harmonica they made me sign a contract saying i would never play in their rooms. And only when it sounds good, they're harping on you to play them a song. Same thing goes when i was learning my guitar. tsk.. Humans..

Well i guess that's the gist of it or something in too much detail.(this is a very long post.. hmm ) I guess i have to end my boycotting of cooking food because i'm much too hungry and no matter how lazy i am, there is only so long that i can survive without proper food. Toodles then.
Cheerio~

Back to norm

Woke up today feeling as though i had never left this place. Had a good 14 hours sleep. Just what i needed. Music fills the empty spaces in my room and i feel so much at peace. Recalling the reasons why i love it over here. No obligations, nothing to hold me down, no responsibility towards others. Just myself and my freedom. doing the things i love without any regards to anyone.

gotta love this life.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Here i am.. again..

walking into my dingy, small small, pathetic excuse of a room, i can't help but be overwhelmed by sorrow and probably slight depression. i guess it'll take some getting used to. couldn't help but feel a bit lonely. haven't felt that way in a long time, and i guess being surrounded by my family these few months, their love have sort of built a cocoon around me and now i feel as thought that's withering away.

i hate it when my thoughts go back to u. it's like that song by air supply, Here i am. Playing with those memories again..

anyway i'm sure this will go away in time. just need a bit of getting used to. arrived ystdy at Domodedova, and reached back at the hostel at 7. My luggage bent my toe while i was carrying it in, and it's swelled up a bit. the night before the luggage caught my toe nail and lifted it up. it bled. ouch. then as i was weighing it, the handle broke. and when i went to Giant to pick up a new one, i slipped on the wet floor and almost twisted my ankle. I had to talk myself down for i was getting furious over the little things and i couldn't concentrate. u know it's one of those things, that once u get pissed off, somehow everything else that day would go wrong as well. deep breaths and counting numbers help. patience gets u a long way. T my depressed little brazilian friend has found a new girlfriend. happy for her, she seemed so down these past few months being in a new place and all. plus her ex was a bitch. i'm glad that she's with someone.

trauma class today was interesting. it's only my first class and already i'm finding difficulties. fyi, everything's in russian. yep. all my classes and lectures are conducted in russian. i want so much to learn and absorb everything that i can, but this whole language barrier thing is killing me. arghhh.. plus i tried copyin notes from the russian girl sittin in front of me, but i think she didnt quite like that cos she changed her angle so i couldnt see it. =/ or maybe i'm just thinking too much.

i hate the beginning of the semesters.. sitting down on my table calculating my finances. paying extra for tuition fees, hostel fees, internet, groceries, my damn washing machine has given up on us, my transportation.. calculating the rates, my savings for my trips, count and count and count.. blarghh..

my room's still in a mess. i haven't fully unpacked from ystdy. yet i find the time to blog.. hmm.. my toe's still swollen today.. i have to go change my usd to pay my fees soon. mum's not online.. i don't have any money to eat. ahh bank in money plss.. where are u.. i shall just shed all this gained pounds during this course of starvation.

i think i have to recollect my senses and be aware of the freedom that i have being here. it's just that i feel like i'm so far away from the people that i love.

(*pokes toe* .. hmm why la still swollen)

okay i'm being very random now so i suppose i should keep myself busy doing something.. i feel like sleeping.. unpack!! ahhhh

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

5th year in Moscow...

i'm back in moscow..

worse part about it.. is i have class tomorrow.

exhausted...

i hate these four walls.

argh.. bladdy room so small..

from a house full of people to sitting in a corner of a room no bigger than my bathroom, alone.

hvg withdrawal symptoms.. >.< !!