feeling lost and angry.
i haven't felt like this in ages. i was perfectly fine and stable.
and now im sitting in the dark, with my sick roomate beside me and i feel like i cant vent.
blasting songs into my ears helps though.
i can't go back into that spiraled down deep shit hole. i won't let myself go there.
never ...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
another year..
i haven't blogged in a really long time. getting lazy to keep tht ball rolling and keep on posting stuff. maybe i rather not think bout things that's why. writing everything down, just requires me to recall events all over again.
spent the whole summer keeping myself busy whenever i can. certains nights do leave me sleepless haunted with thought iv tried to push aside. the thing is, we try to keep ourselves distracted by occupying every second of the day with some silly activity. But night comes, when i turn in and try to sleep, try falling asleep to shows, it still pops into my dreams. nightmares.
upon coming back here, it hasnt made it much easier. unwanted reminders (people) appear from everywhere. even as im typing this now, my eyes are squinting tryin to push it all away.
talking things out with her, honestly helps.. i just have the need to try to understand everything. and figuring her out has proven to be difficult. the question to answer after all this.. is.. What now? yet to be talked over... trust is still an issue for me.
dont feel like going into details bout that for now.
On a different note, our hostel has had a fire incident. Nothing compared to previous years. Mainly because this one really got out of hand due to the carelessness of certain juniors, and ended up putting the whole block at risk. 7 people injured, most with second degree burns.
Thank god i have only two more years to go to say farewell to this dumbfuck place.
Spent my Friday night drinking with J. Suddenly hit me that this would be his last year here. Conversation turned a bit emo midway when we were both already slightly tipsy. It's nice to hear when someone says their good memories of this crappy place would always be one that im in. The fun that we had together. No idea how i'm gonna get through next year without him. I'm so used to running to his damn room whenever i'm stressed.
Ahhhhhhhh.. 2 more yearsssss... Feels like i've been studying forever..
Everything feels stagnant somehow..
spent the whole summer keeping myself busy whenever i can. certains nights do leave me sleepless haunted with thought iv tried to push aside. the thing is, we try to keep ourselves distracted by occupying every second of the day with some silly activity. But night comes, when i turn in and try to sleep, try falling asleep to shows, it still pops into my dreams. nightmares.
upon coming back here, it hasnt made it much easier. unwanted reminders (people) appear from everywhere. even as im typing this now, my eyes are squinting tryin to push it all away.
talking things out with her, honestly helps.. i just have the need to try to understand everything. and figuring her out has proven to be difficult. the question to answer after all this.. is.. What now? yet to be talked over... trust is still an issue for me.
dont feel like going into details bout that for now.
On a different note, our hostel has had a fire incident. Nothing compared to previous years. Mainly because this one really got out of hand due to the carelessness of certain juniors, and ended up putting the whole block at risk. 7 people injured, most with second degree burns.
Thank god i have only two more years to go to say farewell to this dumbfuck place.
Spent my Friday night drinking with J. Suddenly hit me that this would be his last year here. Conversation turned a bit emo midway when we were both already slightly tipsy. It's nice to hear when someone says their good memories of this crappy place would always be one that im in. The fun that we had together. No idea how i'm gonna get through next year without him. I'm so used to running to his damn room whenever i'm stressed.
Ahhhhhhhh.. 2 more yearsssss... Feels like i've been studying forever..
Everything feels stagnant somehow..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)