honestly.. would it make a difference.. ? piece of mind..

i needed this.. right before the holidays end.. i needed to get high.. not drunk. just high. and i'm at the perfect stage.. i can't say why people drink.. maybe it's too get to that level where they don't have to worry bout what people say or think, or maybe it's just to feel high.. but i'm right at that stage where it feels just nice.. where i feel, come what may, what have i got to lose, life is short, and i've got nothing that would jeopardize anything that i have...

i honestly feel i would have been good for you, i honestly feel that i would have been the perfect person u could have been with ( you may laugh at this later on), i feel if distance wasn't the issue, i would be the one person who could have tolerated everything you had to throw at me, i would have loved you till the end of time, i would have given you anything you needed, i woudn't cheat, i wouldnt lie, i wouldn't have empty promises, all the little things i've given up in life i did...

i wanted.. to be the one u confided in, to be one who has a shoulder for u to cry on, or to sleep on when we're traveling far, the hand u hold when you're scared, or lonely, i wanted to be the one who's opinions mattered, i wanted to be one who sings u to sleep, i wanted to be the one who knew u inside out ( i felt like i did), i want to be the one who takes care of you when your down, i want to be the one who understands your need without you saying it, i want to be the one who finishes your sentences, i want to be one who lets u win, just because it makes you happy, i wanna be the one who makes you happy, i wanted to be the one who lets u win in all the fights (just because), i wanna be the one who advices you when you're wrong, to teach you things you didnt know, i wanna give you surprises everyday in forms of poems or songs or sweet little things i do, i wanna be your everything......

u will laugh at me, or feel sorry for me, or sympathy.. i dont need that..

i may seem like a loser.. i may seem pathetic.. but at least i'm an honest person with feelings that i dare not pretend(no longer).

sometimes i gotta let go.. sometimes i dont care.. bcos what have i got to lose.. if i dont have you..

it's not like you keep in touch right.. don't blame me.. there's two sides to everything. remember that. i dont keep track, but i remember. i hope you do too..