SAY NO TO PRACTICLS IN MOSCOW. FU!

Well, i have nothing much to say, except for the fact I Am slightly depressed over the fact that i might be spending half of my summer break here instead of back home with my family. I don't know who to blame. Mainly the agents i guess. Blood sucking assholes. Thanks alot. Moscow has thrown so much of crap at us, but at least it was expected. This on the other hand.. Sigh, Malaysia, Malaysia. Asking us to do our practicals here, in Russia, in a language we're not fully fluent in. And blackmailing us at the same time! It's absurd. You Live in Moscow and tell me if you can survive another extra month of this hell hole. Not to mention the extra cost that it'll take to live here. Yea, it's easy on those on scolarships, you get paid EVERYDAY that you stay here. It's just another extra 50usd in your pocket. And we private students aka non bumis have to suffer.Guess i have to save up again, cos i can't bear to ask my parents for extra money.

I Am homesick. And I want nothing more than to just go home into the arms of my family as soon as I can, what with my house catching on fire, and my grandma passing away, and my personal depressing shit. I'm just not in the best place right now =(

I want to go home.

I wanttttt...

Rates went up to 10.02! Quickly went off to withdraw yesterday. With the inflation here in Moscow this would at least balance things out a bit. I remember the days when a bus ticket used to cost only 10 Roubles, now a heart wrenching 27 Roubles. With the rates that high, shopping spree (for others) became a blast, they almost reminded me of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, walking around with tons of shopping bags. I did pamper myself a bit too, buying a long sleeved collar shirt, and (finally!) a vest. I contemplated on getting myself a new jacket since my old one is almost worned out, but I think i shall wait for next year. Trench coat in mind. Still, top on my list of things to get are

1) a belt! Like wth.. I have no idea how i managed to leave both my belts in Malaysia, and now i walk around Moscow, literally hanging on to my pants. There are no belts here that I like. Surprisingly.

2) a Hat! Specifically, one from TopShop whose's price can make your eyes bulge out like you have Thyroid disease. Found one in New Yorker, but someone else beat me to it and i'm not about to get the same thing as him :P

3)
Aaahh, isn't this dark and weird and freakishly cool! COOoooL! I wannnntt.. Stupid t-shirt costs like 100Rm i think, for a material that sucks..But isn't it haunting.. Beware of your toys, Kiddies.

Other than those, the only i thing i really want and need are a Camera, and a Laptop, though I am considering getting a Netbook instead. Since i have an external the small disk space doesn't bother me. It's light, portable thus really easy to bring it whereever eg. Starbux, Ashan or travelling. Only thing that worries me is the small screen; watching movies won't be the same =/ Ooh well, we shall see.

I am...

and I can.. be.. ANYTHING...

haha..

One reason why i Love being overseas.. the independence..

The door on my lock recently went bonkers. I usually believe everything is repairable till proven otherwise. And after getting locked in (thankfully with tools, because I checked, and my food supply was at a minimal @@) i went off to buy a new lock. Well, I thought fixing it would be easy, but after dismantling the old one, i realised that the lock on my door was so old that the key hole is upside down. Yay yay, a reason to use the drill.. (yeah i feel so macho, lol) After putting in the new lock and admiring my work, i couldn't help but feel satisfied. I don't know if anyone else feels like that, but i enjoy these little DIY projects. This week alone, I've already put up mirrors (not just a matter of hanging it okay! These needed screwing and hammering and stuff lol), and I've made a place to hang my formal clothes, instead of squashing them in between my jackets.
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Classes this week weren't so bad. Of course, it was only the first week. But no doubt tiring, by Friday I was already falling asleep in my classes. Travelling from hospital to hospital, walking in the snow.. is gruelling.. I kinda hate going classes because i tend to spend more money for food. If i sit in my room, i don't use up so much energy hence eating less. Trying to save up for Turkey this spring. Since I didn't get to sit on a camel and sing 'My Humps' (which was the only reason I wanted to go Egypt) , I've been more determined to make this trip. My uncle (not really blood related, just a person who comes to my house, yaks and demands for cold beer) has offered his place which has a swimming pool, and is walking distance to a beach. My parents, wanting to test his sincerity has asked me to go ahead with the trip. Wee.. I don't have to spend much there. I don't mind surviving on instant noodles alone. But drinking beer on the beach is a must for me. Ahhh... Anyone interested to join me? haha.. Let me know ;) don't care if you're a damn stranger.. The more the sexier.... Yes, I am lame.. :P

garfield syndrome..

First time in a month that i ever felt sleepy before midnight! Amazing! Dum dum dum.

Went snowboarding today.

Snowboarding made me really really really happy.. ^_^ weeeee

Plus I only fell down the first few times. Butt was soaking wet though.

Only down point to the whole thing was, all the energy and time that you have is wasted on climbing up that stupid slope, just to slide down it within a few seconds. (those few seconds is worth it though)

Ahh me so happy.. X)
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Class starts on monday.. not looking forward to it. really don't wanna sleep early tonight as to not waste my remaining hours of holiday but damn i'm exhausted.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


might have severe garfield syndrome of hating mondays again..






Long gone, will be the days, when everyday was a Saturday.


but well..









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P.S: Ever realised they always put a Zzz on a sleeping cartoon character.. What's that suppose to be. Never got that.. or the 'sawing-log' picture.. anyone?

honestly.. would it make a difference.. ? piece of mind..

i needed this.. right before the holidays end.. i needed to get high.. not drunk. just high. and i'm at the perfect stage.. i can't say why people drink.. maybe it's too get to that level where they don't have to worry bout what people say or think, or maybe it's just to feel high.. but i'm right at that stage where it feels just nice.. where i feel, come what may, what have i got to lose, life is short, and i've got nothing that would jeopardize anything that i have...

i honestly feel i would have been good for you, i honestly feel that i would have been the perfect person u could have been with ( you may laugh at this later on), i feel if distance wasn't the issue, i would be the one person who could have tolerated everything you had to throw at me, i would have loved you till the end of time, i would have given you anything you needed, i woudn't cheat, i wouldnt lie, i wouldn't have empty promises, all the little things i've given up in life i did...

i wanted.. to be the one u confided in, to be one who has a shoulder for u to cry on, or to sleep on when we're traveling far, the hand u hold when you're scared, or lonely, i wanted to be the one who's opinions mattered, i wanted to be one who sings u to sleep, i wanted to be the one who knew u inside out ( i felt like i did), i want to be the one who takes care of you when your down, i want to be the one who understands your need without you saying it, i want to be the one who finishes your sentences, i want to be one who lets u win, just because it makes you happy, i wanna be the one who makes you happy, i wanted to be the one who lets u win in all the fights (just because), i wanna be the one who advices you when you're wrong, to teach you things you didnt know, i wanna give you surprises everyday in forms of poems or songs or sweet little things i do, i wanna be your everything......

u will laugh at me, or feel sorry for me, or sympathy.. i dont need that..

i may seem like a loser.. i may seem pathetic.. but at least i'm an honest person with feelings that i dare not pretend(no longer).

sometimes i gotta let go.. sometimes i dont care.. bcos what have i got to lose.. if i dont have you..

it's not like you keep in touch right.. don't blame me.. there's two sides to everything. remember that. i dont keep track, but i remember. i hope you do too..

For the bible tells me so..

Please, stop watching RedTube. You would at least open up ur mind or u might gain some sort of perspective by watching this instead.

Save the sperms. Stop your masturbating.

Cheers.

You are a strange one..

Damn, I have a stupid habit of letting my mind run free on "life's mysteries" right before i fall asleep, so i tend to just write all my thoughts on a piece of paper for me to continue cracking my head about it the next day, or when i had free time on my hands. But it's the same old cliche scenario that right when i want it the most, i can't seem to find it. All those thoughts to waste. Damn! Haha, like my thoughts are even worth 2cents.

I like reminiscing on the past, sharing your childhood memories with people from other states, because you'll start to find everyone's just remarkably alike. When I was small, i used to think the games we used to play, were games only known by people, in our state. Or the things we used to do, or say, were only said by those around us. Stupid games like Pepsi Cola (the one where you stand in a circle and attempt to step on each other's shoes, only to get a good scolding when you go back, because your shoes would be dirty. We used to take chalk from classes to color/cover the dirt), or games like Tiang-Tiang. I even remember, stupid things schools made us do, like to mark the end of recess, the bell would ring once, and the whole school had to stop moving and stand completely still ( that's so stupid), and by the second ring, you had to run back to your class.

Went out with my friends the other day, and we were all having a matured conversation (lol, yea right) when suddenly one of them burst out, "Go fly kite la". I stared at him for quite some time before bursting out in laughter. Gosh, that's something I haven't heard in quite a while. I remember saying that frequently as a kid. Never really understood where that expression came from. I'm guessing from some direct Chinese translation. I have no idea. I'm what people call OCBC (orang Cina bukan Cina) lol. Yes, I'm those people who laugh (silently) at AhLians' (i'm sorry) when they say things like Inggrish instead of English, or Gero instead of Zero or when they have a hard time pronouncing R example Lali (lari), but i do admit sometimes at the slip of the toungue i do say that way as well.. hahaha..

Aiks, it's like almost 6am already. Friends invited me to go clubbing tomorrow. What i really want is to go to a gay club here. Unfortunately there aren't many that i can call along or force to follow. I don't wanna go alone and end up with someone weird. Gotta have someone for back up. Though the thought of being with anyone still kinda blocks itself from my mind.

Stranger.... don't know why the word is stuck in my head now..

I'm sure u get my drift. I better head off to bed before i start saying things i would regret.

~End~

Winter...

Apparently, it's just begun. Dropping down to -22 celcius, freezing everyone's asses. Just when i thought spring was near. I hate winter. You can't dress up. You just wear layer after layer, and end up looking like a penguin. Ever seen a bunch of penguin people running after a bus, trying not to slip on ice? funny sight.
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Can't help but keep on thinking lately.. .....
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Started playing guitar again, after getting the string fixed. I hate lending things to people who don't know how to appreciate or take care of other's stuff. Learnt how to play a spanish piece. Classes are about to start.. Dreading it. Wish time would stay still for a bit longer. Kinda enjoy the peace and quiet. I know once winter break is over, everyone will be back from their hols and it'll be like all hell breaks loose, with the stress that'll be upon us.

Won't be sleeping early for the next couple of days.. Waste not, want not..

stuck in the middle..

sometimes i wonder if i should just give in to this feeling and be totally vulnerable and feel like a complete loser later on.

or should i just ignore it till it goes away?

can't seem to focus on anything else...

on anyone else..

messed up.. need to do some thinking