Better?

well i haven't been posting anything because my laptop has KO-ed.
for those who do not know, this is equivalent to cutting my legs and asking me to run.
my laptop was more than the only source of entertainment, it was my library, my connection to the outside world, to my family, it was my newspaper.. easier said.. it was my everything.
all my music.. my work.. it's all there..

been using my roommate's laptop for the moment till i figure out what to do with mine.

been having breakdowns recently. can't seem to get my life in order. 3rd in medic school is more than stressful. and i'm so busy that days seem to just fly by so fast. only one more month to end of my semester. been having tests daily and sometimes it's just hard to breathe.

somehow life at the moment just seems like a total mess. I'M at total mess. i get so depressed sometimes just thinking bout my grandmother, my ex, my financial situation. i hate worrying. i'm never the type to worry bout things like this and now it just seems to be piling up on me. I let it all out when i drink. Everytime i drink, i cry.

Just wanna get my life in order. I still feel so lost that I can't seem to figure out what i want. I don't know what i want. I pray time will tell..
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Love just seems to be in my face all the time. and i really don't need it. it hurts me.
Came across boyzone's new video and it's just full of it but it's somewhat soothing, especially seeing Stephen Gately getting lovey dovey with Kenny Solomons.