Of exams and love bites

exams are just around the corner. havent burst out into my full study mode yet. not feeling stressed, nor pressured thus i have no motivation which kinda blows. plus C and Her have been coming over every night to "study". We basically just end up talking or playing which kinda distracts me from studying and im slightly stressed bout that. Oh why don't they give us more free days to study for exams.

On a different note. I went to class yesterday wearing a turtle neck because of an unconcealable hickey i got from Her. It was too high up to cover it with a plain collar tshirt, and seeing as how my brain doesnt really work in the mornings, i just decided to stick with the turtle neck instead of opting for something else or some remedy. The day went on fine, thinking i had done so brilliantly well on hiding this post neck sucking effect till i got home and got a message from H saying, 'hey i think i found a code name for ur girl. We'll just call her HC for hickey chick.. *hint hint* '

Aww crap. H stays with a A, a groupmate of mine. None of my groupmates here btw are aware of this side of me, cept for my roomate of course. So when H told me that A knew bout it, means the other 2 girls in my group knew bout it. H called me up to her room to share her new found info.

'LIKE HELL im gonna go to ur room now, since A would be there. Im too embarrassed'
'La, she's gone off somewhere. Don't be such a girl and come up la'

I was slightly hesitant knowing that A might return to the room at any moment, but i needed to know the extent of their conversation. I barely got to questioning her bout what A had said, when she started bombarding me with questions instead.

"Oo, so did u grope her? What are u guys now? Are u like in lurveeeeee with her? Why have a hickey unless you're ready to show it to everyone? OOo are u ready for that yet?"

With that and her being distracted by IMs in between, she took up all the alone time we had because suddenly i heard keys jiggling outside her door and crap i knew that was the return of A. @@ I shot up standing, ready to leave while H whines on about not finishing her story, flashing me a smug look at the same time. She has a damn talent for that. I turned around to see A giving me a knowing look/smile, i panicked, bid farewell and bolted out the door.

Upon returning to my room i saw an IM from A asking if i was there. LOL what could she possibly want to say i wonder. My mind is just laughing it's head off.

'Okay, that was weird. So to rid of any weirdness in the future. I just want you to know, that i know and i'm okay with it. So chill la. And im happy for you =) '

Waaaaaaaaa.. I'm having multiple, so many different emotions from that one IM of hers. Freaking out that she knows, Ecstatic that she's okay with it, and bladdy damn Shy for her being happy for me.

"Omggg. Don't la, i damn malu d"
"Haha, i bet you're blushing over there"
"Hm actually yea, anyway how did you guys find out and what did the other two say? Are they freaking out?"
"N saw, and she told both of us. They weren't freaking out, but they were more curious than anything else, trying to figure out who it is. They came up with prediction that 90% confirmation that the hickey was from a girl and 10% from a guy"

Wow.. 90% hurh. And i kinda thought that they were in denial bout the whole thing. I knew they had conversations bout me before. But i always thought they constantly brushed off the idea that i was gay. Anyway i'm happy enough, that A didn't say anything to them. She said it wasn't her place to do so and i've officially put her on the top of my list of people to love <3 ^^

Im starting to not care what people might say/talk around here anymore. I don't know why. What was i worried about before? That i might get shunned? Perhaps. But i suddenly have faith that the people i care about and trust, would never do that to me. I mean, the people whom i've opened up to are still around and perhaps that's more that i'll ever need here. We shall see how this goes. It's a small Malaysian community here, in this hostel. I just don't like being put on a spotlight like that and be the topic of people's conversations. Praying that everything would go about smoothly.