dun think, just feel..

humans are complicated. how do we really know what another person really wants in life, if we can't figure out ourselves yet. or at least i'm in that situation. how far am i suppose to take this with her. She's been coming over almost everyday now. Honestly i dont know where this is going and im not anxious to find out. I'm just enjoying it and going with the flow. she's been around and i can't help but wonder if im another one of her conquests or flavour of the month. i get bored easily too but i dont jump around. then again maybe it's not fair of me to say that of her. we shall see.. my fren calls me a coward, and maybe i am afraid bout goin into whatever this is. but i getting so comfortable , that i hate sleeping without her by my side..

To the Man, the legend.. my idol.

It's been awhile since i've blogged. As time drew nearer to date of the annual dinner (the day i was suppose to perform) I've been stressing out and counting down the days, praying for it to be over, praying for that moment to come where i could just do what i wanted to do and get the hell out. It was driving me partially insane. Before sleeping off each night, i would try to picture in my head, how our performance would be like as seen by the audience.. it wasn't easy because we didn't have a mirror to practice with and we could only record our practices from an angle, because, well we practiced in corridors. I was more than worried, that everything would turn out some what mediocre or cliched. Mum supported me in everyway she could. 'You can't go wrong with the theme you're doing. Plus i have every confidence in you'. Tsk ma, how would i know if u're lying.

Surprisingly though, when the day did arrive and as we went through rehearsals, i felt a bout of confidence, and that wave of excitement that assured myself, everything might just turn out fine. Of course, my team members were already cocky i think, when the critics during the auditions told us this might be one of the highlights of the event. Still, i wanted it to be perfect. This was something i had dreamed of my entire life. I wasn't doing this for anyone else. I didn't need to prove anything. This was just for me and him (him being MJ). I wanted to give something back for the all the years of entertainment he's given me and the world. Ahhh im starting to sound corny. But i do thank him, because during the dance, i felt no nervousness (im lying i did feel it, but only slightly). Maybe it's because we've been practicing so hard, or as how i'd like to believe, he was there with us. There was just a surge of electricity in me as i moved how he moved (or tried to) and his music pumped into my veins.. Ahh sheer delight.. It was the most satisfying thing i have ever felt in my life. The crowd cheered at every change of the song, and more and more i felt uplifted. Impromptu changes made even came out perfect. Right after we were done, the adrenaline rush was still taking me higher. My worries were over, i didnt trip and fall :P cause the floor wasn't as smooth as i expected it to be. All and all, it was a really good night. Right after returning home, we each got a drink, uploaded the video and watched ourselves sharing Mj's magic with everyone in the hall. I felt like i did him right, by me. Thank u for inspiring me and so many others. (" ,) You made a difference in my life.

Perfection..

the happiest day of my life.
promised myself i'd make a memo of it.
bcos yea, how often do u do you get moments like this in life.
my dance, the one i've been working on for months, with the arrangement and editing of the songs, and choreographing, and teaching and putting it all together to put my dreams and what i can only imagine in my head at that time to reality.
and the outcome... whoaaaaaaaaa.. perfection. it was nothing like how i expected it to be.
the reaction i got from the crowd during the performance, and the post performance comments that i got just filled my heart right up to the brim it was bursting at the seems.
~it was awesome
~simply superb
~best performance of the night
~totally amazing, didnt know you could dance like that
~i was bored till you guys started performing..
The one that was equivalent of 10 praises, "were you trying to break hearts out there or make people fall for you. you were damn yeng'. Then she asked, who did the choreography.. i smiled.. She was in awe. Hahahaha. moment to be obnoxious please.. but only for that moment.
The one that was equivalent of 100 praises. This girl that i recently had a crush on, came up to me, grabbed me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes, "I just couldn't take my eyes off u".
I was so stunned, i just smiled. Heart! Bursting! Ahhh! HAPPPPY!!

Later on, i went over to A,one of her friends to say hi, and she grinned at me.. I know someone who has a crush on u... ^^ my heart skips around a land filled with rainbows and flowers and only nice things.. haha. I basked in the glory of praises, but this topped everything else. To quote A, right after the dance, she came running to A, and said she had a crush on me. And A screamed out Nooooooo. 'What's with the no, i asked'. 'I said No, cos You're mine' @@ ................ -_-'''

Girls...

I came back home, to an offline message that said again, She likes u, but you're mine.

I slept like a baby after that..

PS: i got free cigarettes today. WAT A PERFECT DAY