Here i am.. again..

walking into my dingy, small small, pathetic excuse of a room, i can't help but be overwhelmed by sorrow and probably slight depression. i guess it'll take some getting used to. couldn't help but feel a bit lonely. haven't felt that way in a long time, and i guess being surrounded by my family these few months, their love have sort of built a cocoon around me and now i feel as thought that's withering away.

i hate it when my thoughts go back to u. it's like that song by air supply, Here i am. Playing with those memories again..

anyway i'm sure this will go away in time. just need a bit of getting used to. arrived ystdy at Domodedova, and reached back at the hostel at 7. My luggage bent my toe while i was carrying it in, and it's swelled up a bit. the night before the luggage caught my toe nail and lifted it up. it bled. ouch. then as i was weighing it, the handle broke. and when i went to Giant to pick up a new one, i slipped on the wet floor and almost twisted my ankle. I had to talk myself down for i was getting furious over the little things and i couldn't concentrate. u know it's one of those things, that once u get pissed off, somehow everything else that day would go wrong as well. deep breaths and counting numbers help. patience gets u a long way. T my depressed little brazilian friend has found a new girlfriend. happy for her, she seemed so down these past few months being in a new place and all. plus her ex was a bitch. i'm glad that she's with someone.

trauma class today was interesting. it's only my first class and already i'm finding difficulties. fyi, everything's in russian. yep. all my classes and lectures are conducted in russian. i want so much to learn and absorb everything that i can, but this whole language barrier thing is killing me. arghhh.. plus i tried copyin notes from the russian girl sittin in front of me, but i think she didnt quite like that cos she changed her angle so i couldnt see it. =/ or maybe i'm just thinking too much.

i hate the beginning of the semesters.. sitting down on my table calculating my finances. paying extra for tuition fees, hostel fees, internet, groceries, my damn washing machine has given up on us, my transportation.. calculating the rates, my savings for my trips, count and count and count.. blarghh..

my room's still in a mess. i haven't fully unpacked from ystdy. yet i find the time to blog.. hmm.. my toe's still swollen today.. i have to go change my usd to pay my fees soon. mum's not online.. i don't have any money to eat. ahh bank in money plss.. where are u.. i shall just shed all this gained pounds during this course of starvation.

i think i have to recollect my senses and be aware of the freedom that i have being here. it's just that i feel like i'm so far away from the people that i love.

(*pokes toe* .. hmm why la still swollen)

okay i'm being very random now so i suppose i should keep myself busy doing something.. i feel like sleeping.. unpack!! ahhhh