Merry Xmas from Moscow

Merry Christmas to all... from Moscow..

Sleepy.. Tired..

Hygiene exam was today... shall enlighten you on the idiocracy of that subject when I'm well rested.

I'm usually a master when it comes to sleeping, but this week has been hell for me. It usually takes me 3 hours before I manage to fall asleep, and by then it's already time to get up. And I hate that period before falling asleep when all sort of thoughts enter my mind. Past, Present, conversations, imaginations, memories... all jumbled up...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

K i'm falling asleep as I write this. I'll take it as a good sign. Perhaps I might just fall right asleep this time.

GTG!

What is this feeling?

Humans are complicated.. Nothing simple bout them (damn i'm speaking as tho i'm not of the same species). Even me, as i consider myself in the simplest of people, in certain terms, i find that till now, after 21 years i am still not sure of myself. Not in the sense of who i am, or my characteristics. I'm talking bout my feelings.

Just started thinking about it, after returning home from a long day. While I was out, i had this sudden rush of feelings, that i cannot comprehend. It made me feel the way i usually did when i was in high school. A sense of feeling, like i'm lost, or when i'm in a new of different surrounding, or when i feel slightly out of place. I'm not sure. Somehow it could be a bout of homesickness kicking in too.

Main thing it's bugging me, because i can't put a finger on it. It's survival, and human instincts to find out what you need, and get it. If you're hungry, you find for food. If you're thirsty, you find water. If you're horny... Well basically, if you have an itch, you scratch it.

It's messing with my mind, cos i'm cracking my head trying to figure out what i need.

Hopefully i'll get to know soon, or just wait for the feeling to go away i guess.

=/

sick limerick

have sex when you're sick,
no longer will you feel weak,
(said the husband with his quick wit,)
he smiled as she agreed,
and on him she began to lick,
only to find her asleep by his dick

sick make u stewpid ja?

sick again

Stupid winter and it's inconsistent temperature. It's been twice this winter that I've fallen sick. And almost everyone is falling sick at the very same time. Another thing is medical students are the most prone to falling ill. They're the unhealthiest people i know, surviving on junk food and instant noodles, having no sleep at all pre or post examinations.

People here are so afraid of getting sick, even teachers are shooing us back. As long as there's a sneeze or cough coming from you, you're heading home. She sent the entire class back today. Then again most of the people from my group were just pretending to be ill. What group of people walk around together with tissues cupped to their mouth.

Been having terrible nights these few days. Can't seem to have decent dreamless sleep. Weird images and people keep coming to me in my dreams. I wake up often feeling exhausted and drained. Can't wait to go home. Starting to hate it even more here.

mind fucked

fucking mind games..

and u dont even know it..

sometimes i think there are still things to teach you..

like how to treat someone..

especially knowing that everything's not ok...

it's not that stage where everything's okay..

it just makes you look like a ...

ps: dont get too proud just yet. i'm nt that worked up. just funny to see how certain things nv chg.

Moles..

Ever heard that each mole that you have on you, is most likely to be significant. A mole at any ear lobe signifies intelligence. One near your eye would mean you have insight to certain things or whatnot etc. Well I have one on my lower lip. And no it doesnt mean i'm gabby. Far from it actually.. Hm.. only at certain times i guess.. According to believe, ( i think) as my grandma used to tell me.. I'll never go hungry.

And for that I thank the Lord. ^_^

Me love food... ^0^

I live to eat, not eat to live..

K, sometimes i eat to live.. only sometimes.. ^_^(Y)

And those are the times, when i'm in need of food, and have none around, somehow food magically appears! Very good example would be today.

I usually attend Surgery classes (though it's boring as shit.. i noticed another thing. why is everything compared to shit.. taste like shit, heavy as shit, there's good shit bad shit.. shitty news, quotes like "this is the shit!", "i shit you not!", u can always look like shit, be as angry as shit, smell like shit.. i think shit has lost all meaning.. anyway) after Surgery class, we would have more or less and hour plus to kill before the next class, so we usually head off somewhere to eat. Seeing as how this time around, i skipped Surgery, woke up and late and rushed off to the next class, I didnt have anything to eat.

By the time class was over, my stomach was grumbling thunder, and no one wanted to follow me out to eat because everyone already ate. Dammit. Was too damn lazy to cook, so i ate bread. Well, Lo and Behold, my blockmate who went to the embassy to celebrate Army Day ( in all my life I've never heard of such a thing) came back yelling "I've got foooood for uuuuu!" ^_^ Satay, Kuah Kacang, Murtabak, Currypuff, Fried Rice and Orange Juice. Left overs. *drools*

I have luck when it comes to food. Yey!

This is my form of luck. For others they're in the form of money. My blockmate who's a scholar, gets about 2000RM a month, extra cash for winter clothings, goes to this sort of functions at the embassy (only for scholars) and gets another 20Usd. *faints* If only i was that lucky. =/ I'm thankful anyway, for all that I have. Little things are enough to please me. I guess I was brought up that way. Things that I long for are never material. Sucks though. Sometimes I wished that the things that I wanted could be bought with cash...

=/

Не забывай

Юлия Савичева - Высоко (Highly)

Не забывай (Don't forget)
Помни меня (Remember me )
Ты не один (You'r not alone )
Навсегда вдвоём (Forever together )

Не забывай (Don't forget)
Пламя огня (The flame of fire)
Где мы с тобой (Where you and me)
Греем себя (Warm each other)

Я улечу в себе (I will fly to myself)
Я улечу к тебе (I will fly to you)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

Не забывай (Don't forget )
Сердце моё (My heart)
Песни мои (My songs)
Навсегда с тобой (Always with you)

Не забывай (Don't forget )
Ночи без сна (The nights without sleep)
Где мы с тобой (Where we’re together)
Я не одна (I'm not alone)

Я улечу в себе (I will fly to myself)
Я улечу к тебе (I will fly to you)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High...)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

Не забывай... (Don't forget..)

Losses in life..

We keep moving on, not even stopping to take a breath of air, because we can't afford to. We can't stop the things around us from spinning because if we do, we see things clearly. We have to come to terms as to what we've lost. But there are just times, when you get so tired of spinning. Tired of hiding. Tired of denial. Time catches up with you and everything sinks in.

breaking down.. breaking down..

Mother has been so upset recently. She confides in me because i understand. She breaks down when she's alone. Loss of a mother is not something one can get over with ease. Loss of a home, makes you feel unsafe.

worry.. I worry..

If she'll be ok without me. I worry about myself. Everything that I've lost recently in life, is all safely hidden away for the time being.

Denial.. denial..

Will i have to face it one day, or can i push it so far behind me that it'll merely be a speck in my life. Would i want that?

Prayers and faith.

Strength and courage.

Take me far.
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May the things we lose in life be as such not because we want it or because we don't try, but because it's inevitable.