I've never felt more vulnerable, more lost, more unwanted in my life. It's like being thrown into exile. Like being in a black room, letting the darkness eat me inside out. I wish people would be more concerned. I wish life wouldn't just go on. I wish I could properly mourn for her. The funeral is tomorrow. It'll be a final goodbye for those lucky enough to be there. And I'm here, nothing's changed, everything's moving along like nothing's happened. Am I'm stuck in sorrow by myself. With people still laughing all around. People still making jokes. The world is spinning round. And I..

I couldn't sleep the whole night through. I kept waking up, thrashing around. I don't know why I'm angry. I'm getting irritated by everything around me, but I don't know why. Please don't try to be a friend if you don't know how. You end up saying the wrong things and it's just gonna piss me off futhur. I'm already at the edge, and if u push me off, i swear I might just lose hold of everything. I'm already hanging on by a thread. I'm not going to go around looking for sympathy. I'm not going to talk to people just for them to listen to me. I'm not like that. If you're a friend, you come to me. I'm fragile. Don't expect me to put myself out there anymore. No more.. No more..