It's a saturday night. I get insomnia on saturday nights. I'm not sleepy, not tired, not aware.... and i tend to just sit down and talk to myself. And when I get bored of talking to myself, I type out whatever is in my head. Which is pure, unadulterated nonsense, most of the time. I don't know why I do this. I've been doing this ever since I was a teenager, which of course I'm not anymore. Why do people do that? Right when you hit 20, is it so much fun to say "when I was a teen.. ". No idea. And so, I start thinking, and that hamster in my head is running the wheel..
and there it goes...

'I think more than half the people in this world knows what solitude is. To lay down in bed alone night after night wishing that someone could just be there beside them. The nights are the worse. It's that period of time, before you drift off to sleep that your mind starts wandering to thoughts that would only make you toss and turn in bed even more, or for some to just cry themselves to sleep. I begin to wonder how many people in this world can actually claim that they're happy. To me, happiness, it's an emotion that's so easy to find, but sometimes to hard to gain. You see it all around, on people's faces, in their laughter, and sometimes that just makes me green. I think people who are happy, tend to be oblivious to others who are not, and those who aren't, are too involved in their own emotions that they don't realise those who are in the same boat.'

At this point, I have a feeling I should just stop. I know i'm gonna sound like a maniac if i continue on just typing whatever comes to mind. I actually have alot of this self conversations saved somewhere on my laptop. I actually miss the times, before laptops and desktops were invented, where instead of doing this, we had to scribble everything out on paper with a pencil or a pen and to just crumple up that piece of paper was satisfying. Now, you have to hit that backspace on your key board. That doesn't even release any tension built up. Plus it looks lame. Crumpling up that paper would have at least shown that you're transfering all your anger there, and throwing it away would be symbolising you letting all your anger go. See, it's metaphorical.

Right, the sun is up and this post is so random, that it doesn't even make any sense. I dont care. To my darling, I know you'll complain bout this post, so before you say anything, I wanna say.. I love youuu.. lol. Gnite dear. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
~end~