Moles..

Ever heard that each mole that you have on you, is most likely to be significant. A mole at any ear lobe signifies intelligence. One near your eye would mean you have insight to certain things or whatnot etc. Well I have one on my lower lip. And no it doesnt mean i'm gabby. Far from it actually.. Hm.. only at certain times i guess.. According to believe, ( i think) as my grandma used to tell me.. I'll never go hungry.

And for that I thank the Lord. ^_^

Me love food... ^0^

I live to eat, not eat to live..

K, sometimes i eat to live.. only sometimes.. ^_^(Y)

And those are the times, when i'm in need of food, and have none around, somehow food magically appears! Very good example would be today.

I usually attend Surgery classes (though it's boring as shit.. i noticed another thing. why is everything compared to shit.. taste like shit, heavy as shit, there's good shit bad shit.. shitty news, quotes like "this is the shit!", "i shit you not!", u can always look like shit, be as angry as shit, smell like shit.. i think shit has lost all meaning.. anyway) after Surgery class, we would have more or less and hour plus to kill before the next class, so we usually head off somewhere to eat. Seeing as how this time around, i skipped Surgery, woke up and late and rushed off to the next class, I didnt have anything to eat.

By the time class was over, my stomach was grumbling thunder, and no one wanted to follow me out to eat because everyone already ate. Dammit. Was too damn lazy to cook, so i ate bread. Well, Lo and Behold, my blockmate who went to the embassy to celebrate Army Day ( in all my life I've never heard of such a thing) came back yelling "I've got foooood for uuuuu!" ^_^ Satay, Kuah Kacang, Murtabak, Currypuff, Fried Rice and Orange Juice. Left overs. *drools*

I have luck when it comes to food. Yey!

This is my form of luck. For others they're in the form of money. My blockmate who's a scholar, gets about 2000RM a month, extra cash for winter clothings, goes to this sort of functions at the embassy (only for scholars) and gets another 20Usd. *faints* If only i was that lucky. =/ I'm thankful anyway, for all that I have. Little things are enough to please me. I guess I was brought up that way. Things that I long for are never material. Sucks though. Sometimes I wished that the things that I wanted could be bought with cash...

=/

Не забывай

Юлия Савичева - Высоко (Highly)

Не забывай (Don't forget)
Помни меня (Remember me )
Ты не один (You'r not alone )
Навсегда вдвоём (Forever together )

Не забывай (Don't forget)
Пламя огня (The flame of fire)
Где мы с тобой (Where you and me)
Греем себя (Warm each other)

Я улечу в себе (I will fly to myself)
Я улечу к тебе (I will fly to you)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

Не забывай (Don't forget )
Сердце моё (My heart)
Песни мои (My songs)
Навсегда с тобой (Always with you)

Не забывай (Don't forget )
Ночи без сна (The nights without sleep)
Где мы с тобой (Where we’re together)
Я не одна (I'm not alone)

Я улечу в себе (I will fly to myself)
Я улечу к тебе (I will fly to you)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High...)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

Не забывай... (Don't forget..)

Losses in life..

We keep moving on, not even stopping to take a breath of air, because we can't afford to. We can't stop the things around us from spinning because if we do, we see things clearly. We have to come to terms as to what we've lost. But there are just times, when you get so tired of spinning. Tired of hiding. Tired of denial. Time catches up with you and everything sinks in.

breaking down.. breaking down..

Mother has been so upset recently. She confides in me because i understand. She breaks down when she's alone. Loss of a mother is not something one can get over with ease. Loss of a home, makes you feel unsafe.

worry.. I worry..

If she'll be ok without me. I worry about myself. Everything that I've lost recently in life, is all safely hidden away for the time being.

Denial.. denial..

Will i have to face it one day, or can i push it so far behind me that it'll merely be a speck in my life. Would i want that?

Prayers and faith.

Strength and courage.

Take me far.
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May the things we lose in life be as such not because we want it or because we don't try, but because it's inevitable.

will the tragedies ever end

only thing i can wonder for now..

my house caught on fire 3 days ago, and only now they've decided to tell me.
not realizing how bad the situation was, i pushed it to the back of my head but now as it's slowly unraveling my mind can only be set to it's worrying mode. and i have yet to speak to my mum.

the whole top floor has been wiped out, and renovations have started, to replace everything. my house apparently doesn't even have a roof right now.. only good news, is that everyone is safe and well. just worrying bout finances. the insurance company most probably wont settle for covering all the expenses needed for the renovation. bladdy hell i thought that was what insurances are for.

there has to be a reason why bad things happen to good people. i honestly blame the damn neighbour since the fire started from his abandon house. sigh. worry worry.

just doesnt seem like a very good year for us.. and me..

in the mood of condemning people to hell.

Been having fever. I actually slept for more than 12 hours straight. I looked so sick that an elderly lady on the metro gave me seat. Must have been that bad. Haven't had anything to eat the whole day. My whole body's aching. Argh.. Just feel like complaining. Started snowing yesterday night. Damn. Winter this year came really late. I suppose it's a good thing.

It's so weird that the whole 12 hours i was sleeping, all i was dreaming of was some war that was going on. Made me even more tired than i already was. Skipping all my classes today. Just can't get up. My phlegm is thick and brownish and it's irritating that i have to get up every few minutes to spit it out. i just feel like collecting it in a jar and when i'm good and healthy i'll just pour it on someone i hate.

Been thinking of that movie. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Actually seems like a good idea don't you think? If you live everyday with a pain that won't go away, isn't it easier to just do something like that to get rid of the memories. sigh. I dont know what i want in life.

I'm going to soak myself in the tub till i decide on what to do next. Will be playing for the Sukom games this Sunday. Pray i'll get well by then.

Hmm...

Funny but I just had this thought after watching The Investigator.

If all people who were gay are banned from the army, and if they all went to war and died, wouldn't it sum up to alot more gays left here on earth?

Guess that would be a good thing for us anyway but it Is something to laugh about isn't it?

For me at least..

Ha Ha..

Better?

well i haven't been posting anything because my laptop has KO-ed.
for those who do not know, this is equivalent to cutting my legs and asking me to run.
my laptop was more than the only source of entertainment, it was my library, my connection to the outside world, to my family, it was my newspaper.. easier said.. it was my everything.
all my music.. my work.. it's all there..

been using my roommate's laptop for the moment till i figure out what to do with mine.

been having breakdowns recently. can't seem to get my life in order. 3rd in medic school is more than stressful. and i'm so busy that days seem to just fly by so fast. only one more month to end of my semester. been having tests daily and sometimes it's just hard to breathe.

somehow life at the moment just seems like a total mess. I'M at total mess. i get so depressed sometimes just thinking bout my grandmother, my ex, my financial situation. i hate worrying. i'm never the type to worry bout things like this and now it just seems to be piling up on me. I let it all out when i drink. Everytime i drink, i cry.

Just wanna get my life in order. I still feel so lost that I can't seem to figure out what i want. I don't know what i want. I pray time will tell..
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Love just seems to be in my face all the time. and i really don't need it. it hurts me.
Came across boyzone's new video and it's just full of it but it's somewhat soothing, especially seeing Stephen Gately getting lovey dovey with Kenny Solomons.

Glad i only go back there for 3 months max..

i wonder how we come to the conclusion that we're special to someone...

just to be crushed when you find out

you're actually not..

Are we all not just Men

If we fight for the things that we believe in,
If we fight for the things that matter to us,
If we fight for hope,
If we fight for the truth, or freedom, or peace,
If we fight for the people we care about,

Are we all not just men..

If we fight for Love.