Бог устал нас любить

We took a little to much,
We remembered everything we wanted to forget,
and on the rails we laid a little late,
God stopped loving us,
God stopped loving us,
God just stopped loving us,
God is just tired.
Here's the case of the bullet that stroke through,
The card that you just can't beat,
We stay alone in this world,
God stopped loving us,
God stopped loving us,
God just stopped loving us,
God is just tired.
I would tell you all I know,
It's just I shouldn't talk about these things,
The fallen snow never melts,
God stopped loving us,
God stopped loving us,
God just stopped loving us,
God is just tired.

Russian music and language never really sound good but their poems and lyrics makes up for it.

All my love

Don't really have much to say, cept that with Christmas right around the corner, I've been slightly emo.
And you know how acoustics get to me.
(Wish Cameron would make more videos)

ps: sense a tinge of John Mayer in his strums.

Flamenco

Took the opportunity to watch a live flamenco guitar performance.

Bad quality video but at least the audio's aite =)

Music fills the empty spaces.

Remember the days when we used to run home after buying a new album.

Shutting your room door, you place your Cassette/CD in and just lay on the floor, awaiting the magic.

I miss that.

Back then when i used to have the room all to myself i used to lay a blanket down on my floor, put on a mix of music, the only kind that you could just get lost in.

And drift away.





I'd like to get away. Float away.

Will I ever get to again?

Bloodstained heart

The guy is a damn genius with a voice like an angel that speaks to me right to my very soul. It's times like this that i appreciate music and all that it does for others.

Two things

that i'm reminded of today..

1) the reason why i never trust anyone

2) LDRs are for shit..

If i didn't have such a good time during my outing today, i would have been crushed by what i can only describe as 'The flawless facade'.

The flawless facade!

Coming soon, in another one of Key's episodes of unpredictable expectations!

Comes with the 'please-hit-me-with-a-rock' effect.

Well, at least for me it does..

"haik!"

counters effect with....



It's like i'm draped with a giant comforter..

mmmm

Handsome Men's Club/Alizbar

просто потому что мне смешно



и мне скучно
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I spent the whole day working on my so-called project. Rewatching the clips over and over again to break down the steps. Came to understand that putting my imagination into reality requires intricacy. There is progress, but it's not flowing as fluidly as i expected. It's so hard to follow through when you have perfection in your head, but it flows out of you to become this ... muck! ( i dont know, that's just the first word that popped in my head to best describe this) I really don't wanna be a leader in this. I'm more of a part of the team kinda person. I'll come up with the ideas, and i'll run the show, but i dont like giving out orders. I prefer feedback rather than bossing people around. Yeah i know i dont have to be like that. I guess i'm just stressed and slightly worried that if there were any set backs, I'd be judged. Plus i've kinda set this expectation for myself. I've got this whole storm up in my head. Just gotta learn to let it flow out smoothly.. Baby steps.. baby steps.. Plus, does anyone know how to change a certain wav. file to a different one.. I'm much too lazy to figure that one out by myself..
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I now feel like crying and sleeping at the same time...



I've already spent so much this month on unnecessary... err substances. And now i'm torn between spending what i have left on his concert, or on food..

K that sounds a bit extreme doesnt it..

Fine! I'll just wait it out till next month then.. *sulks*

Till then i'll just have to make do with listening from Youtube..

Mmmmm....

Yummy :)

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I want to play.. >=(

-is sulking because i have to study for a pending exam. it's just not right, studying this hard at the beginning of the semester. No one is in the mood, and everything that i'm reading just doesn't make sense or refuses to enter. I feel hungry all the time, and i finally gave in and started cooking. Please, please be over so i can enjoy the days of what's suppose to be a relaxing year.

RIP, Michael..

Where do i even begin.. What do i even say..

This man was my childhood, my idol.. The first album i knew of was his. I first danced to his music when i was only 4. Jumping around to Jam. I spent the first few years of my life learning how to do the moonwalk. I spent hours in front of the TV watching his movie Moonwalker over and over again copying his moves. I stood by him (not literally) when people turned against him calling him a child molester, or Wacko Jacko or whatever. I always believed he was innocent. I even had a scrapbook filled with pictures of him and any article i came across that was about him. Even till today i spend hours watching his videos, amazed at his talent. There will never be anyone else that would come close to comparison. He Was the King of Pop. And always will be. The music industry perhaps would not be the same today if it weren't for him. Artists such as Justin Timberlake or Wade Robson.. they all took moves from him. His influence is well noticable among them. In certain ways, i am happy that he's passed on, for it is my believe that he was no longer happy. He was terminally ill for so long, and having put up with the crap media throws at him, it's just not right. What more upon losing everything he has, and selling off his belongings.. He had a concert coming up in London. Perhaps he pushed himself too hard.


I cried when i saw the news online. I was devastated. I still am. I read news almost every other day about celebrities dying. And even when i was little i would wonder how the impact would be if MJ died. I prayed the day would never come. That day that my first idol would stop being among us. One of my dreams was to at least be at one of his concerts. In most of his movies they would show fans at his concerts, fainting, crying, screaming out for him and i would always think, damn.. they're so lucky. Now, i'll never get the chance.


The world is at a loss without you. He was a legend. He was true talent. He was.. Michael Jackson.. There will never be another..

Thank you for sharing your gift with the world..

You will live forever in us..

I love you, Michael.

Boy With a Coin

Mesmerizing...

My current favourite song and video clip..

I don't know which pulls me in the most. The haunting music, the beautiful twang of the guitar, Sam Beams soothing voice, the grace of the Spanish dancers with the tap of their shoes and their rhythmic claps and the swaying of those hips ( oh Lord, have mercy on me) or maybe it's just the perfect blend of everything just fitted together meant for your eyes to be fixed on the screen and your ears to be glued to the speakers (unless you're using earphones then u Should just superglue them to your ear canals)

Or maybe it's because I've only had 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night (studying) and i'm kinda stoned staring at everything.. I know i should take the time to get some shut eye now, but if i do, it'll be a waste of my night since it's my one night to rest before i have to bury my face in books again tomorrow.. So till then, i'm going to make the most of whatever few hours i have left..

Can't wait for exams to be over...

PS: Gotta love Spanish dances.. enthralling without a doubt..

David Choi - Won't even start

The Affair?

I would not call this an affair.'The other' would be ecstatic to know i have you to keep me company while i'm in Moscow. It does get so lonely sometimes.. *cheeky grin. I love you both anyway. Perhaps you will meet one day.

But..

HHhmmmmm touching you... its that familiar feeling, of when i first held 'the other'. The feel of my hands placed gently around your neck. The cradle of my arm around your body. Running my fingers lightly touching you. That sound you make..

Mmmmmm..

And your smell.... Makes me just wanna close my eyes and imagine us on a vast field of nothing else but flowers and grass.

I lay you down to rest on my bed, and i stare at you with admiration and awe. You shine, in my eyes. And i promise that i will never, ever let anything happen to you. I will always keep you safe in my arms.. People might not see you the way i see you.. They may say you're not worth it, but it's okay. Cos you're mine. And you make me happy, and that's all that matters.



I haven't named you yet. But we'll come up with something cool okay? :)

Indulgence

1) in Michael Buble.. in music.. and all that jazz...

Don't you think music just gives you that emotionally liberating feeling.. Makes me just wanna close my eyes and sway.And when i mean sway, i mean literally floating around the room, ballroom motion and all sliding here and there (for those who don't know me, I love dancing. None in particular, just allowing the music to move me in any way it chooses). The fact that i have the whole room to myself (a most fortunate situation for now) enables me to do whatever i please, whenever. I scream songs in the morning, work out in front of my full length mirror in the evenings, and I dance the night away.. :)

2) in books... ahhh i love the smell of your pages..

I think i've already gone through 2 books this month. Approximately 5 since the beginning of this year. Which is probably incomparable to most avid readers but I like to enjoy the context of each word. I have a habit of rereading certain sentences or phrases again and again just because it brings out a certain sort of rarity..of feelings and wonders of all sorts. The fact that i love most about reading a book is how i manage to just jump into the pages ( a Mary Poppin effect) and be in a whole different world. Just a voyuer in a land of unknown fiction.

I would go on and on, but seeing as how it's already 3.06am (it says there.. draft autosaved at 3.06AM) my eyes have sent signals to my brains, and i think pyschologically i'm being tricked into thinking i'm sleepy, hence the yawning. Will continue(in another post)/edit this post another time (or leave it the way it is.. i'm such a lazy person.. arghh)

Well, I shall head off to bed with my palms and fingers gripping my current book.. and read em' till i fall asleep..

Gnite world..

Winter...

Apparently, it's just begun. Dropping down to -22 celcius, freezing everyone's asses. Just when i thought spring was near. I hate winter. You can't dress up. You just wear layer after layer, and end up looking like a penguin. Ever seen a bunch of penguin people running after a bus, trying not to slip on ice? funny sight.
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Can't help but keep on thinking lately.. .....
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Started playing guitar again, after getting the string fixed. I hate lending things to people who don't know how to appreciate or take care of other's stuff. Learnt how to play a spanish piece. Classes are about to start.. Dreading it. Wish time would stay still for a bit longer. Kinda enjoy the peace and quiet. I know once winter break is over, everyone will be back from their hols and it'll be like all hell breaks loose, with the stress that'll be upon us.

Won't be sleeping early for the next couple of days.. Waste not, want not..

I think..i gave myself laryngitis

How?

1)I love music

2)Yes, i love to sing.

3)Yes, i love the sound of my own voice.

4)Yes, i'm selfish when it comes to the mic (only sometimes laaah)

5)My whole block is empty. All for meeeeee.. (so no one can complain, or join in)

And yeah, i'm so full of myself and believing so much this is my forte, that i dare sing at an unearthly hour of the night, or morning, unafraid i might wake the neighbours.

Because ......
1)i'm sure they're sooo praising me.. on my voice and
2)choice of songs..

hahahahahahahahhaha

just kidding though. i'm not that narcissistic... yea i'm like the opposite..

i bathe in self-loathing(not really)... yeap.. that's me (no..really no)

I think i need some ice though, to suck on or something.. *waddles through the snow for ice.

(Insanity has struck me again and again like lighting)

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Well, my trip has been canceled twice. Bugger. Rather disappointing, as i was really looking forward to getting out of Moscow for a while. Doesn't really help when most of the people around you aren't adventurous enough to try something different. It's not that i'm bored mind you, just that's it a bloody waste cos this year i have my longest break. Oh well, there's always spring. Made it a point to learn more about Russian History since i've always been fascinated by it. Was watching a documentary on it, and it was most enlightening, knowing all the rulers and their accomplishments; Ivan the Great, Ivan the Terrible and my favorite, Peter the Great. Everyone was interesting in a more serious way, in which i was putting my hands to my chin, listening intently and goin Hmm... except for the part where they spoke of False Dimitriy. Amusing. During the Time of Troubles (Смутное время, Smutnoye Vremya) an imposter from Poland claimed himself heir of Ivan the Terrible and reigned the country for a year before being exposed. It is said later on they sent him back to Poland, "Russian Style". This is the good part. Hehe. They killed him, burned his corspe, put his ashes in a cannon,pointed it towards Poland and fired it.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahhaha.

But seriously..

Hahahahaha....

Don't mess with the Russians man.



By the way, it's Chinese New Year. Doesn't feel like it to me, so I wont be wishing anyone, unless they do it first and it'd only be polite to do so. Didn't have any makan-makan this time around. Didn't even cook for myself. Most of my friends are in Malaysia, or off somewhere on their euro-trip. No matter.. Didn't really feel like celebrating anyway since my grams just passed away. She was the one who usually cooked the dishes for our family reunion, and this time around, as i usually do, i was thinking of how my family are back home, and i just kept picturing her there. Had to remind myself that she wasn't incase i said something wrong to my mum. I did infact forget that it was CNY till I saw the Vietnames cooking (on the floor... of the corridorrrrrr) and heard them singing Karaoke later on. At least someone's having a good ole celebration. Not that i'm complaining.. This has been the most relaxing winter break ever, for many reasons which we shall not get into.. And.. Oh yes, haha if you've yet to watch Yes Man, do so.. for my favorite part of the movie...


~I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,

~You could cut ties, with all the lies that you've been living in

~And, if you do not want to see me again

~I would understandddddd-eeee-ndddd-eee-ndd, I would
understandddd-eee-enddd..


Yeah, i know lame.. but cmon.. the song is a classic!.. u saw how the crowd were singing along to it. People watching this on tv, or laptop or in the cinema would sing along to it. And i know for a fact it's true, because my friends told me so. Hah! Me and my buddies watching it were even singing and moving side to side to it.. hahahaha just reminds everyone of the 'days back then', yeah.. when we were young. LOL. Good times though.. good times. Though i Do wonder bout the people singing in the cinema though. What if Everyone there was singing, and it was really loud, would the people watching the other movies in the next hall be freaking out..? Oh well...

just sing along then... hahahahahha. ~Cheers..

Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today
You could put the past away
I wish you would step back from
That ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understandddddd-eeee-ndddd-eee-ndd, I would understandddd-eee-enddd..

.: Sad is better than Lonely:.

Не забывай

Юлия Савичева - Высоко (Highly)

Не забывай (Don't forget)
Помни меня (Remember me )
Ты не один (You'r not alone )
Навсегда вдвоём (Forever together )

Не забывай (Don't forget)
Пламя огня (The flame of fire)
Где мы с тобой (Where you and me)
Греем себя (Warm each other)

Я улечу в себе (I will fly to myself)
Я улечу к тебе (I will fly to you)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

Не забывай (Don't forget )
Сердце моё (My heart)
Песни мои (My songs)
Навсегда с тобой (Always with you)

Не забывай (Don't forget )
Ночи без сна (The nights without sleep)
Где мы с тобой (Where we’re together)
Я не одна (I'm not alone)

Я улечу в себе (I will fly to myself)
Я улечу к тебе (I will fly to you)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

На небо за звездой (On the sky behind a star)
Высоко... (High...)
Тихий полёт (Quiet flight)
Это легко... (It is easy...)

Не забывай... (Don't forget..)

Better?

well i haven't been posting anything because my laptop has KO-ed.
for those who do not know, this is equivalent to cutting my legs and asking me to run.
my laptop was more than the only source of entertainment, it was my library, my connection to the outside world, to my family, it was my newspaper.. easier said.. it was my everything.
all my music.. my work.. it's all there..

been using my roommate's laptop for the moment till i figure out what to do with mine.

been having breakdowns recently. can't seem to get my life in order. 3rd in medic school is more than stressful. and i'm so busy that days seem to just fly by so fast. only one more month to end of my semester. been having tests daily and sometimes it's just hard to breathe.

somehow life at the moment just seems like a total mess. I'M at total mess. i get so depressed sometimes just thinking bout my grandmother, my ex, my financial situation. i hate worrying. i'm never the type to worry bout things like this and now it just seems to be piling up on me. I let it all out when i drink. Everytime i drink, i cry.

Just wanna get my life in order. I still feel so lost that I can't seem to figure out what i want. I don't know what i want. I pray time will tell..
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Love just seems to be in my face all the time. and i really don't need it. it hurts me.
Came across boyzone's new video and it's just full of it but it's somewhat soothing, especially seeing Stephen Gately getting lovey dovey with Kenny Solomons.

bluer than blue

After you go
I can catch up on my readin'
After you go
I'll have a lot more time to sleepin'
And when you're gone looks like things
Are gonna be a lot easier
Life will be a breeze you know
I really should be glad

But I'm bluer than blue
Sadder than sad
You're the only light
This empty room has ever had
Life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue

After you go
I'll have a lot more room in my closet
After you go
I'll stay out all night long if I feel like it
And when you're gone
I can run through the house screamin'
And no one will ever hear me
I really should be glad

But I'm bluer than blue
Sadder than sad
You're the only light
This empty room has ever had
Life without you is gonna be
Bluer than blue

I don't have to miss no TV shows
I can start my whole life over
Change the numbers on my telephone
But the nights will sure be colder